How do we fix the inner turmoil of broken relationships? In the learned view of Rabbi Jonathan Sacks, it might be the outer expression of our pain.
In this week’s Torah portion (Vayechi) he recounts the emotional reunion of Joseph (who was, at a young age thrown into a pit in the desert and left for dead) and his bothers (who did the throwing and leaving.) It is a reunion fraught with a power imbalance (Joseph all; brothers none) but a shared level of pain. The brothers are regretful of their actions, and openly discuss the pain they caused Joseph.
They do this despite not knowing it is Jospeh before them. His identity is hidden from them, as is his own pain.
During this reunion with his brothers, Joseph weeps seven times (an important Jewish number). Some are in private, some in front of them; all are listed here. It is not until he shares that pain, that he reveals his true self, that he is able to begin to heal their relationship.
It is not that sharing our pain thru crying is always the answer, or the only solution, but it is a powerful one that is sometimes called for.
The power of honest expressions of emotion can make change in ourselves and others.
On this Shabbat, it is worth considering; are there relationships that can begin to be repaired by an honest showing of our true selves?
